Faith

Good morning. It is spring--a time of renewal. A time of joy for me. The green and the sunshine I need, the warmth so that I can be outside, go for walks, and enjoy it. I feel a sense of calmness and peace at this time of year.
I read a blog post by Glennon this morning over at http://www.momastery.com/ that compelled me to write here. I have realized recently that I am good at sharing some stories, but not all. And I need to share some of my stories. I want my children to know. I want my friends and family to know. So soon there will be more of those posts. And today Glennon inspired me to share a post about my faith--watch out this is a long one.


I have a strong faith in Christ/God/Holy Spirit...always have always will. I need my faith. It gets me through. It helps me focus on what is important. It leads me to do the right thing and share love. It gives me hope. For me, it is not there as a group of answers, but as a leading course.
My faith is mine. It is a part of my past, present, and future. It is not a faith like everyone else, for I really am very little like everyone else. Never did fit in the box, never will, and I not accept and embrace that. And my faith does not fit in a box either.

I believe in ONE GOD ONLY, three in one, ominipresent. I use the names interchangeably. I like to think that the creator God is the same in all cultures, just with different names and background stories that work with those histories. But I do believe that Jesus was the part of God that makes the big difference--its the part where God puts it back on us to believe and accept.
I still like to think of God as non-gender--as too big to need that label. But I also understand, now, in my older self wisdom, that the majority of society prefers and more readily accepts a male. But the feminist part of me that questioned this, and every other piece of patriarchal society in college, still prefers the Native American beliefs of Spirit that is all encompassing.


I am thankful for the classes in college that taught me the history of the Bible, but also human's role in that history, for the classes that opened my eyes to other denominations and faith traditions. They made me question my religion--not my faith--and how I related to religion, and in the mean time, strengthened that core faith. I am thankful for all of our moves that introduced me to other faiths and denominations through friends, visiting churches, attending other denominations. They have helped shape me. They have helped me be more open to the idea that everyone has different needs and comforts within their own religion. It has led me to discover what I need from religion. I believe that God doesn't really care about religion--I think FAITH and a relationship are more important to Him. Religion is our comfort level for faith and relationships.

For you see, when you don't fit in the box others have a hard time seeing and understanding. So Christians and non have been very judgemental of my faith, of my religion. They question it, they judge it, and they try to change me. But as I just mentioned, I have finally come to an understanding that everyone has a comfort level. Some need hard and fast answers and rules in religion, faith, and life in general. Some need societal norms and rules. Some not as much...this is where I fit. And part of the reason I am there stems from my own artistic self,from my own studies, but also from the judgement.


My wise husband once told me, "You don't know my heart and my faith. No one can ever really know any other person's true relationship with God--only God and that self." Wise.


Because of the judging, because I am adamant that respect of other people's beliefs is absolutely necessary--from my own experiences, because of how Jeff taught me to apply it, I am not always good about sharing my faith. I sing in the band at my church, I am the director of the Sunday School program, I am the director of our vacation Bible school--and I write the complete curriculum. But some of you may not know those things. Notice how I feel comfortable sharing my faith--through musical worship (and yes I dance and raise my hands-- I dance everywhere. God made my feet and body to move--I never have been good at holding still. And with children. I love their openness. I love that they feel Spirit and that they see God. I love that they talk to Jesus. And religion doesn't matter. I share faith with them and love leading them in the teachings of God to create their own faith.


I am a Lutheran Christian--grew up that way, feel comfortable that way . **You should know, too, that I come from an awesome family of Lutherans. My parents and aunts did a great job in being faithful role models for me.** The church I attend now has five guiding principles rooted in Lutheran tradition that I find perfect (italics is from church, the rest is from me):
1. Jesus is Lord. I believe with my whole being that He created me, came to save me, and loves me. I believe He is the greatest teacher ever.
2. EVERYONE is welcome. Faith and salvation is intended for every single human on this Earth. God wants us all--no matter what your gender, sexual orientation, color, disability, intelligence, dress style, whatever. God made us all, perfectly, and we are HIS.
3. We have what the world needs. Jesus gave us the tools we need. Love one another. God is the only judge. If we listen to what God is telling us, how Spirit is filling us, and how Jesus is leading us, we will share the Good News in quiet or loud proclaiming ways. Some people do it silently, some need specific wording that make them comfortable. But the world needs LOVE, and GOD IS LOVE.
4. Everyone has something to offer. Each and every one of us has a gift and we can use that gift to praise and thank God. It doesn't matter what that gift is, it doesn't matter where we do it, because Jesus/God/Spirit KNOW. He is in us, He is leading that gift. He is waiting for every single one of us to realize that. And I wholeheartedly believe that He rejoices when we get it.
5. Love changes everything. How true. It changes us from our core out.


More reasons I am Lutheran:
I need the group confession and communion--ALL the time. I have decided that for me, it is like being reborn EVERY single week. Every week I love that as a church we proclaim that we are human, that we need Christ, and that we remember that Jesus saves, forgives, and loves us.

I find my comfort in the blessing, in the creed, in the liturgy. That being said, I no longer have the patience or the focus for the traditional liturgy every week. But I still enjoy it. I like the thought that in any Lutheran church around the world we are speaking some of the same things.

I love that Lutherans believe GRACE is ENOUGH. We just need to accept that grace. Now, we should honor, respect, and praise that grace--but in the end, it is all about God's Grace.


Now, some not so Lutheran things...there are always renegade thoughts/ideas. Otherwise there would only be one Christian way of doing things. :) (And for those of you who might worry, I don't talk about these beliefs often, and never with children. Just the basics for them friends, just the basics.)
I believe in Hell, and I think it is right here on Earth. Bad stuff happens, we struggle, we hurt. God gives us glimpses of what Heaven can be like. But we don't have the answers in this life. That is hard. I think Heaven will be all the best of love and what is here. And I believe there could be no greater punishment than being sent back to do it all again--potty training, being a teenager, the losses and struggles--and not being allowed to be with God in that beautiful place of love until we get it right and believe in Christ and follow those teachings.


I believe like the Native Americans that Holy Spirit is in us all, and in every piece of nature that God creates. Our world is too complex, science does not explain it all, I don't want those hard rules. I don't really care how long it took or how God did it. What matters is that He did. I love looking at the four or five different greens in bushes, trees, and flowers next to each other and knowing that God created that for us to notice. I love seeing the sky change, the different textures of the land. The artist in me recognizes His genius and is enamored with and in awe of His work.

I prefer to worship. I love the music, the fellowship. I need to help, and know that God is using me--I have found He makes that decision a lot for me. Some people don't. Some are so sick of all the religion that they can't get past that to the faith at a church. I understand. Finally. I'm okay with that. But I do hope that faith is growing and showing itself in other ways.

I like that other religions are so open and serious about real intuitive prayer. Just listening for Holy Spirit to whisper to you. Not just recitations.

I don't want to indoctrinate my children. I want to teach and share. But not force. I will never force. I will not judge their faith needs. I hope that that openness will give them the freedom to have the strongest faith ever. I think my parents did a good job with this. Look at moi.
So there it is. Out there. Thank you Glennon for pushing me to share, to witness in my own way (and knowing God lately He had a lot to do with this too.) Now you know, my faith is deep inside me and never going anywhere. I have made intentional decisions and thought a lot about this. It may grow and change, as all good things do since they are flexible. Now I have a record for my children when they want to know.

And now I can share this with those who come to my door and question me.

I believe in God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, my creator and savior.

Finally Four!

He would have gone crazy if his birthday had not finally arrived! He had been waiting forever! But, I do believe, it was everything he had hoped for and more. He got the two things he really wanted, a track excavator and not just one but two steamrollers, plus a lot of other things he was extremely excited about. He is fun to watch open presents, he rips the paper and gets super wild excited. A tractor cake and spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.

A pinata--he chose a pirate filled with lots of starburst, skittles, and reese's cups. We danced to Elmo and I know it. We looked for little turtles. It was definitely his day, and the perfect way to celebrate our little boy.

Hack This

Connie, Jeff's mom came to visit and requested that we visit a restaurant she remembered from her days going to design school in Chicago fresh out of high school. It was still around, and we could tell why as soon as our food came. Huge delicious burgers and perfect onion straws. A fun atmosphere, especially wih our whole family plus Granny enjoying it, made it a great place to visit. We were so full afterward we went walking on Michigan Avenue and the kids introduced Granny to their two favorite stores, American Girl and Lego
The whole weekend was very nice and the kids loved having her here as usual and had a hard time letting her go home.

My Own Hero

Where was my little boy pretending to be a fireman? Where was my husband? Oh, but it did not matter my friends for I was able to solve my own issue! And actually it was probably safer without the first one especially.

I set the grill on fire. Really, nice big flames.

Or, after careful post fire up close inspection, it may not have been my fault.

I put the steaks on the grill which was preheated on high yes, but I turned it down. The meat took up the whole grill. I did marinate it in olive oil and spice rub. Did that do it? Luckily I decided to set the good table, because my mother-in-law Connie is HERE, so I could here the snap crackle and see the lovely orange flames come busting out. And Luckily, I was smart enough NOT to open the grill cover but cleverly turned off the gas, saved the meat from the grill (yes I did) and THEN used the fire extinguisher. They were expensive steaks.

Oh well. yet another good story to add to the blog I decided after a couple glasses of wine. :)

Sharing the Love

So much love being shared in the last couple of weeks. With our family, friends, each other. It makes for good times. Tanner and his best buddy, Belle. We needed a photo for pet day at preschool and he was more than willing to pose with her. He follows her constantly and is always petting her.

Phoebe showing her love for her all time favorite snack food. She can eat an entire bag herself.

They do love a good bag of FunDip. Mommy, not so much, especially when I find it everywhere. But I do have to admit that those green tongues are pretty funny.

Oh How I love thee Dollar store! Those giant balloons were only a buck the day of Valentine's. I went just for the tablecloth, cups, napkins, and hangy thingy but the kids lucked out. They were definitely shock and awe. Now I just have to figure out how to deal with them for the next two months. Lol.

We shared lots of love with Ohio friends and family the weekend before Valentine's, and my mom rode along so she could stay at my sister's. We hit the old digs on Cromwell on Saturday to spend time with very dear friends and had a completely lovely time.

And then we joined Mom on Sunday with my sister and the cousins. We went to the BEST free playland/giant hamsterland EVER. All I have to say is the kids didn't even come look for us for an hour and half and they were sweaty. That's good stuff.
Our kids loved having sleepovers at both houses and the kids had such a good time playing and the grownups had a wonderful time catching up. So much that I am planning to take the kids back in June. Tanner thinks Ohio looks very squatchy and he is intent on checking out some of the woods there this summer.

Hanging out in the kitchen. Why is that? People really do just hang out there, and I mean that for our house and everywhere we visit. We have to force ourselves to go sit on the couches. Why were living rooms ever even invented? Just a random thought.

Silly kids with pizza. Man did they giggle a lot that day.

He Does This for FUN

Jeff's job is slowing down for the winter. Very normal. I forgot to consider that football is almost over, he is not taking any classes, we don't have any babies, he is not in constant worry mode about crating this year. So with all this time on his hands I have to remember that it is very normal for my husband to decide on a whim, "It would be a great idea to just redrywall this don't you think?" But he only asks himself that question. I only learn of the decision after he as answered himself with a resounding, "YES! OF COURSE!" His eyes twinkling and his brain whirring.
This time when he started in, I just laughed. I should have seen it coming. Every February in every other house we have lived in meant "project." But I was out of practice--he went two whole years without drywalling a thing. Imagine.

So really I should have known that when I said, "Let's paint that ugly pine waiscoting and the wall above, " that he heard, "Yes, Jeff, you have my permission to start a large scale project--rip down that pine and redrywall that part." Which he did. And I am going to be thrilled with the results. The room even in drywall mode already feels bigger, taller, brighter. He is fixing all the little imperfections that drove him crazy and I am finally going to like that room.

But I still think it is funny. I mean really, how many men do you know that drywall for a hobby?

The Turtleman

Tanner is obsessed with the Animal Planet show, "Call of the Wildman" about the Turtleman from Kentucky. Ernie goes to people's ponds and gets the snapping turtles out, or he rids your home of other rascally critters. :) He is actually quite interesting, funny, and addictive. It is no wonder he is an internet phenom and has his own show.

Tanner pretends to be Turtleman ALL THE TIME. He has a lot of his phrases, calls, and mannerisms down pat. He pretends to catch wild animals in the house and puts them in pillowcases everyday. This video is just a small glimpse into Tanner's imaginary Turtleman world.